Category Archives: leadership

I Remember

This Remembrance Day, remember all those that have given their lives and all that have physical and psychological injuries including those that have been sexually abused. I served in the Canadian Forces and was injured to the point where my great career was cut short. I am telling my story as a final part of my healing journey.

In 2007 I was a healthy unemployed 34 year old. The factory I worked at for 10 years was shut down and moved to Mexico.  I had a wife and 3 kids to take care of and was struggling to meet my bills.  One day a Canadian warship pulled alongside Windsor Ontario and it was opened for tours.  I brought my little kids to the ship and we were all impressed.  The sailor’s were also handing out flyers letting everyone know that the navy was hiring.  After only a short conversation with my wife, I decided to apply.  In January 2008 I was shipped off to basic training.  I passed all the physical tests and ran with everyone without any problems.  After basic, I was transferred to Victoria BC to begin 6 months of career training for the trade I chose.  After the trade training, I was deployed with HMCS Winnipeg to the Gulf of Aden for 6 months on an anit-piracy operation. You may remember seeing the movie Captain Phillips.  I was there for that incident in 2009.  I remember hearing the distress calls over the radio as I worked in the operations room.  The pirates got on the radio and said “you’re too late,” when we were trying to regain comms with the captain.  After the Maersk Alabama was taken over our ship was sent away and the American navy  stayed with it to negotiate.

While a ship is at sea, the garbage has to be processed and so there is a garbage processing room where all plastic is melted down to solid “pucks” and stored till we come ashore.  All paper was shredded and mixed with water to create a slug. It was pumped overboard to be broken down in the ocean.  All glass was smashed and sent to the bottom of the ocean and metal was also sent to the bottom.  All of these items, plastic, paper, glass and metal were processed in the garbage processing room ( AKA the gash room)  This room was only used when the ship was on long deployments.  Short trips, less than a few weeks, we just stored away till we arrived back home.  When we were on our 6 month deployment in the Gulf of Aden we used this gash room everyday.  My department took care of the gash room and we all took turns working there. Most didn’t like working there because it was smelly and  disgusting as you might imagine.  It was full of mould and slime everywhere but I actually liked it because it was quiet and peaceful there, as we worked alone processing the trash.  It got me away from a very stressful job in the operations room, so I volunteered to take other shipmates’ turns working there and they happily obliged.  I worked in the gash room often during those 6 months and had no idea the damage my lungs would have incurred as a result of being exposed to excessive mould for so long.  It was mouldy in there because of the high moisture and humidity as well, the air conditioning unit was also contaminated with mould and blew cold mouldy air in there to keep it cool.  That same air conditioning unit also blew cold air into the operations room where I also worked.  So I was exposed to mould all the time for those 6 months while deployed.

I never felt the effects of the mould exposure until after I returned from the deployment. A couple months after my ship came back, we went on a 5 KM base run.  I made it to the first kilometre and could not breathe.  I felt like I was going to die as I gasped for air for the next 4 KM. I walked the rest of the way and tried to get my breathing under control.  This was the first time of many that I would have a major problem breathing after doing a small amount of exercise.  I was also a ship’s firefighter and had to wear bunker gear with a mask and oxygen tank on my back.  My first year on the ship we rarely did firefighting exercises but after we had a new captain come onboard, he decided we needed to do exercises often.  The next 2 years were like hell as we did 4 sets of work ups.  The new captain wanted to push the training on our ship to the max and he certainly did.  During these “training” sessions called work ups, we only got 2 or 3 hours of broken sleep in a 24 hour period. I would be just getting to sleep and the bong bongs or alarm would go off.  I had 6 minutes to get up to the flight deck dressed in my bunker gear ready for the emergency.  I was not allowed to turn on the oxygen tank as it took too long to fill them after the exercise was over.  It was considered valuable sleep time and so nobody used the oxygen as we would have had no sleep.  As a result of not having my air on, but still having to wear my mask, I had an asthma attack after every exercise.  Some were so severe that I really did think I was going to die as I gasped for air.  Most of my asthma attacks I was in a dark, secluded place with a charged fire hose waiting for the drill to be over. I told the ship’s medical people about my respiratory issues and they told me to see my military doctor when we got ashore.  Over those couple of years I was sent to the same military doctor and literally got a run around each time. I had many pulmonary function tests and they were fine because I was not doing any exercise, just sitting calmly in a chair and breathing into a machine. He kept saying “everything looks good”.  I asked the military doctor if we could do an exercise induced asthma test and he always said that the military doesn’t  test for that.  I had one really bad asthma attack on the ship one day where I was losing consciousness. I broke the rule and turned on my oxygen tank to get air. I laid there in the bowels of the ship by myself for about a half hour slowly getting my lungs back until I made it back to the flight deck.  I told my superiors what had happened and nothing was done.  They told me to go see the military doctor when we arrived ashore.  I told the military doctor of my many close calls with death including my most recent one and begged him to do something. He reluctantly gave me restrictions so that I didn’t have to wear a mask or do any more firefighting drills.  He also let me control my own exercise routine so I wasn’t forced to run again.  I was nearing the end of my first contract and could not continue like this so I asked the military doctor if he would approve a medical discharge.  He said that it would be impossible as there was no proof that my respiratory problems were caused by my service.  At that time in my life, I still had no idea what had caused this lung condition and felt like I was up against a 200 foot  monster. I let my contract expire and couldn’t re-sign for the 25 year deal to continue with the navy due to my respiratory issues and received an honorable discharge in 2012 when my first contract was over.

Since then I had my own exercise induced asthma test done by my family doctor and was diagnosed with exercise induced asthma.  I was also diagnosed with complex P.T.S.D from my many near death experiences from my asthma attacks along with the frustrations of nobody listening to me for years. I continued to have these attacks for years and it never went away or got better.  In October 2019 I was told by some good friends that I should call Veterans Affairs and see if there was something that could be done for me.  I was taken in with lots of love and compassion and told about possible compensation for all my pain and suffering.  It was at this time when I finally found out what had caused my respiratory problems.  I did a simple search online for breathing problems on Canadian ships and was shocked to see many articles dating back to 2012, talking about a major mould problem on my old ship, HMCS Winnipeg. These articles detailed that the mould readings were highest in the garbage processing room, the operations room and the storage locker for the bunker gear on the flight deck.  All 3 of these locations I was in everyday and it all made sense to me from then on.  I am still working with Veterans Affairs about receiving acknowledgement and compensation for my respiratory problems. I put my pain and suffering  application in for my respiratory problems nearly 2 years ago and hope that it is approved soon. 

I also now know that if my situation was taken seriously, I would have been medically discharged and given a pension for life for my service related injuries.

Just a few months after I was accepted by Veterans Affairs and given a temporary monthly salary, the lock-downs started and everyone was to stay home.  In the nearly 2 years that I have stayed home, I have been actively receiving help for my complex P.T.S.D from a wonderful psychologist from Bay Psychology. I also have found much help online with various other doctors who treat complex P.T.S.D. Before I came to Veterans Affairs, I was about to go into the woods and disappear from society.  I was drinking everyday as well as consuming cannabis all day everyday to mask my symptoms and keep me calm.  I was frustrated, depressed and angry from the way my military career ended. My marriage of 17 years also ended terribly in 2014 as a result of my P.T.S.D symptoms and cannabis use.

I no longer drink or use cannabis anymore.  I quit those over a year ago now and don’t miss them at all.  I am no longer depressed or frustrated and have so much to be thankful for.  I learned through my Christian faith how forgiveness works to our benefit.  When you hold on to resentment, it is the same as unforgiveness.  Resentment is like a weight that holds you down, but when you forgive, then you are made free!  I had to let go of all the resentment I felt for the military and how I was treated so unfairly. I wrote an article on this blog called Post Trauma Peace and it is full of all that I have learned about trauma and how I healed. So, psychologically, I am doing much better all because of staying home and healing at my own pace.

Physically, with regards to my lungs, my family doctor says they will not improve and more than likely they will get worse.  I am still exempt from wearing masks and my doctor has recommended that I not return to work with the current mask mandate. I still have asthma attacks almost daily.  Some small and some dangerously close to death.  I wake most nights with an attack and have to take my rescue inhaler. Even if I sneeze more than 3 or 4 times I feel an attack coming and have to take my puffer.  I have asthma attacks when I shovel in the winter or cut the grass in the summer.  They can be quite scary as my lungs feel like I am only getting 25% of the air I normally get.

Below are 2 short videos.  One is showing what an attack is like for me and the other is showing a short version of my story and supporting documents.  The first video of my attack was something that I never recorded before.  I just got done cutting the grass and could not breathe.  The camera was sitting on the table so I picked it up and documented it for the first time.  It is hard for me to watch this video as there is much stress going on inside and I feel every second of it when I watch.

Asthma Attack Documented
My Story with Documentation

Creation Science

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Dr. Jason Lisle is a great speaker and presenter of some amazing facts about our earth, the universe and how God really did create everything thousands of years ago, not billions. There are many proofs of this but you will have to watch these presentations to learn of them all.

Try to get through the first few minutes of him explaining things before you give up. It is worth hanging around to watch all if this presentation…trust me!

The Answer Is Right Under Your Feet!

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If you suffer from inflammation, depression, sleepless nights, heart problems, poor blood circulation or a long list of other health conditions then you may want to watch this informative short documentary. With spring here and summer on the horizon we are able to kick off our shoes and connect with the ground again. If you don’t have the time to watch this documentary right away then save it for later when you do. It will change your life and your health!

Porn In Our Modern Society

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When I was a child growing up in the 70’s, I was never exposed to pornography.  The porn at that time was in corner store magazines on the top shelf, far out of reach from all little children.  Later on when VHS tapes became popular in the 80’s, you could find porn in stores that had their windows covered so you could not see in, and you couldn’t enter unless you were 19 years old.  Then came the 90’s, in particular the late 90’s when the internet came to life with video.  This is when everyone with an internet connection could view porn virtually anytime with their personal computer from the privacy of their own homes.  When the cell phone became popular in the 2000’s,  that made it possible to view porn anywhere in the world, at any time and without age restrictions. Pornography has become very accessible in most societies around the world, except for the middle eastern countries that have blocked it from their internet.  

Once a child gets their own cell phone, it’s only a matter of time before curiosity takes over and they’re viewing porn for the first time.  They can become addicted to watching it daily and their sexual habits can often be shaped by it. Most parents don’t have any clue that their child has started to watch porn because the child tends to hide it as they find it is a shameful thing.  A good parent will monitor and control their children’s internet and cell phone usage to ‘try’ to prevent exposure from happening.  It’s not right that children as young as 9-13 are exposed to porn.  It has very negative effects on their lives when they are older in real relationships. 

The negative effects on real relationships or marriages have been felt in many ways.

The divorce rate has been getting higher and higher and this has somewhat to do with porn usage that has become common in our society.  Men tend to be the ones who view porn most of the time.  This causes a lack of interest in his spouse as the porn actor satisfies all of his desires, while the spouse is left wondering what is wrong with her? Viewing porn has been compared to someone addicted to cocaine.  It has the same effect on the nervous system and it is a high that satisfies only temporarily. Men who watch porn can become sexually warped and confused.  What I mean by this is that men are exposed to women that are being humiliated, abused, or even raped on video, and they are taught to think that all women like to be treated like this.  The Fifty Shades of Grey movies that came out added to this idea and has caused many women to be confused in their sexual desires.  Since porn became popular, the traditional marriage bed has become very warped and perverted.  Some feel there’s no such thing as “making love’ anymore! Also when you are married and you look at porn, you are lusting after someone else and that has a negative spiritual effect on your relationship as it is the same as adultery in the heart and adultery is not good!

I could go on and on over the negative ways porn has affected our society, but I am sure you get the point.  If you are addicted to porn, then please understand that it is not having a good impact on your life. You need to realize that it is wrong and not normal.  If you are married and stop using porn then I guarantee you will notice a big difference in your sexual relationship with your spouse and so will she!!!  If you are not married and single, then you need to stop so that you become more interested in finding a real relationship. Most men that watch porn become lazy and not interested in putting in an effort to find a meaningful relationship or marriage.  Lastly, but certainly not least, is the fact that porn is not good in God’s eyes.  It is written in 1 John 2: 15-17  Do not love the world or the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world or the things in the world then the love of the Father is not in them.  For all that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life- is not of the Father but is of the world.  And the world and the lust of it is passing away; but whoever does the will of God shall abide forever. 

Lust has been confused with love in our day and age.  Porn is nothing but lust of the flesh and lust of the eyes and it is toxic for our society.  Please consider never viewing porn again for a much better life!

Suffering Is Not For Nothing

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Emotions Make Great Friends, Not Great Rulers

Some time ago, I was ruled by anger and frustration that I held onto inside of me until my Mom’s last words before dying were “don’t be so frustrated darling”. It bothered me that I was frustrated even up to the time my Mother was about to die and those were her last words to me. It also woke me up to the fact that I was letting negative emotions control my life and that’s when I decided to do something about it. I realized quickly that my frustration was rooted in resentment and unforgiveness from ways I was treated in the past by others. I understood that I needed to let go of the resentments and forgive those things that happened to me in the past in order to have a better future.

Emotions like frustration and anger tell us something is wrong and in that way they make good friends, if we can listen. A good friend will tell you something is not right and help you make it better. I can say that since I dealt with these negative emotions ruling me, my life has improved greatly! I have more peace and happiness in my life and that is far better than anger and frustration.

If you’re ruled by anger and frustration and want to have peace and happiness then look back at the root of your resentment from the past, forgive it and let it go! It’s that easy my friend.

Heaven Can Seem Like Hell, But Hell Can Never Seem Like Heaven

If hearing the name of Jesus bothers you, then heaven would be like hell to you. If singing to God for all eternity would bother you, then heaven would be like hell to you. If hearing angels sing praises to God would bother you, then heaven would be like hell to you. If the idea of being a servant to God forever bothers you, then you know the rest…

But if you had only a few seconds to experience hell and all the torments that are there for all eternity, then you would realize that hell is no heaven and you would do anything in this life to avoid it!! In hell there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. That is to say there will be those that will cry forever and those that will be angry forever. Both sadness and anger will not be in heaven, but they will be in hell. There is no light in hell either, but only darkness. Hell is no heaven my friend.

You can avoid hell as long as you repent or turn from your sinful ways. Cursing, swearing, taking God’s name in vain, having sex outside of marriage, watching porn, are just a few of the sins that will keep you out of heaven. You also need to believe that Jesus came here as a sinless example for how we are to live and that He was put to death, rose again and is coming back to judge the world. Repenting of your sinful ways because you are scared of going to hell won’t cut it. You have to repent of your sinful ways because you have offended God and you actually feel bad for offending God. We live in a world where not many people think of God or even believe in Him but that will all change soon.

Listen to this sermon from the 1700’s for a better idea of what it means to repent and hopefully avoid hell.

The God Who Speaks

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Many years ago when I was young and  foolish I was drinking heavily at a party.  By the end of the night, or early in the morning, I decided to stagger home. I was passing a closed restaurant when I realized I was hungry and decided to break in to cook myself some food.  So I made my way into the closed restaurant through the ventilation system on the roof.  I ended up falling through the ceiling and landed right smack in front of the grill in the kitchen and thought to myself “this is convenient.”  However, in my drunken stupor I quickly changed my mind about food and made my way to the bar.  I grabbed the biggest bottle of booze and left by the back door and proceeded to stagger home.  The next morning I was woken by two detectives who had some questions for me.  I was very hungover and my head was pounding from drinking the night before.  I knew what they were there for and I decided to admit everything and not lie.  I was brought in to the station and questioned in which I fully cooperated by writing a confession, then they let me go with a court date.  It was scheduled in a couple of weeks and I’ll never forget how worried I was about  jail being a possible punishment.  A couple weeks go by and I am in the waiting room outside the courtroom when a familiar face walks by and notices me.  It was the Crown Prosecutor who was going to be the one to prosecute me for my crime.  I remembered doing some landscaping for him when I was a student a few years prior.  He asked me why I was there and I told him.  He could see that I was very sorry and also worried about jail.  So after a short talk he told me that he would defend me and see to it that I didn’t go to jail.  When my case was called, I stood and the prosecutor began to defend my case. He asked the judge for mercy.  The judge listened to him and I walked out of the courtroom free, feeling very thankful and relieved.  Since that day I changed my ways and never thought of breaking the law ever again.

This was a true story that happened to me so long ago. It has a lot of similarities to the true story of all of us, as we will one day meet the ultimate judge in the great judgement that is to come.  Jesus, who is the actual prosecutor on that day, will prosecute every crime or sin you have committed and the punishment is eternal. But you can become friends with Him by acknowledging Him and confessing your sins, then changing your ways to match His. Then the prosecutor will become your defender and  the judge will grant you mercy and forgiveness so you can be made free with eternal life.  Jesus paid for your punishment on the day he was crucified by being an acceptable sacrifice for your sins.  All you have to do is acknowledge Him and become a new creation in Him so he can defend you. John 5:24 Jesus says  Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.   The Apostle Paul says in Romans 8:2  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.   Finally John 8:36 Jesus says Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. Turn from your ways of sin and death and become a new creation before it’s too late.  Start by repenting and seeking after Jesus by reading His word in the bible and He will be your defender instead of your prosecutor.

You Are What You Think

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You have heard the statement before that you are what you eat. You don’t hear the statement that you are what you think very often.

We all have images of ourselves that are derived from many things around us including what we see in the movies, magazines and social media. We also get input from our own brains about what we are and I would like to talk about a positive way to help change how you think of yourself for a better life.

This post is mainly for those of you that have depression or feeling down and out with a negative self image. If this describes you then close your eyes and think of all the compliments and nice things people have said about you over the years. At first it may be difficult, but keep thinking of them and you will begin to smile and feel better about yourself. You may have been told that you are so kind, nice, caring, pretty or handsome. It’s different for everyone but you get the picture! Do this whenever you need a smile on your face and in your heart.

If you have no memories of other people saying such positive things about you over your life then imagine someone you love with all your heart, like your kids or spouse. That feeling of unconditional love that you would do anything for that person. Now try to imagine that God in heaven loves you many more times than that. So much more that you really can’t comprehend how big and vast His love is for you. This should put a smile in your heart and on your face.

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Act Like Men

Every man needs to watch this…

How to Live in a Crooked and Perverse Generation

Love Your Wife Love Your Life

I grew up in a dysfunctional home.  I witnessed my Mom get beat almost daily. One night was so bad, her head was being smashed against the tub. I had to run outside to get help, in my underwear.  I was only 10 years old at the time.  I really couldn’t understand why this man was always so angry and hurtful. I understood that it was wrong! Even now, I still don’t understand the feeling of hitting, hurting or humiliating a woman, and I thank God for that.

When you love your wife, your wife will love you and stay close to you.

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When you put fear into her, she will fear you and separate from you.

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There has been a drastic and unfortunate spike in abuse in the home as of lately and this has to  stop.  We’re not to put fear into those we love. If you are an abusive man who is angry and frustrated, who feels any kind of remorse for hurting the one he is to love, then please heed my words and make a vow to never hurt them again. 

Love and cherish her, and she will lovingly do the same.

Stress In The Workplace


Studies have shown that for every dollar spent on controlling psychosocial hazards, you can save between three to six dollars on your bottom line!

We can learn many things about stress management and how stress management can benefit workplaces. For example, dairy farmers are drastically changing the way in which cows are raised. Dairy farmers have found that creating a relaxing, non-stressful environment for the cows turns into better profits.  Cows no longer are cooped up in small stalls, or separated from their young; instead they roam freely in pastures.  Come milking time, the cows go in a modern, high-tech barn that is designed for maximum comfort. The floors are made of stainless steel, that’s so that the robotic squeegee can scrape all waste matter away to prevent disease. The cows also have access to large “car-wash type” brushes that automatically spin when a cow is present, this is to help the cow get at those irritating itches. Milking the cow is accomplished by a laser guided machine that finds each nipple, all without any person touching the cow.  Once hooked up, the machine monitors the milk for any temperature changes or disease. To further reduce stress the cow is always with their young, even when it’s time for milking.

Dairy farmers say that a happy cow gives more milk, and that the milk is better quality. They are witnessing positive results from their investment in stress management.

How can we apply stress management to everyday workers? We need to first realize that stressed workers are less productive, more prone to accidents, have more sick days, and cost the company many thousands of dollars on the bottom line.

The solution to these problems can come through a good stress management program where employees feel good about coming to work and doing the best job they can. Creating this friendly, non-confrontational atmosphere can be attained through: commitment, desire, and proper leadership. The monetary cost of stress management can be minimal when you understand your psychosocial hazards that exist in your workplace, and you control them.

Over the past twenty years of health and safety management, there has been much study on the term Psychosocial hazard, and, if it really exists in our workplaces.  The Ministry of Labor, W.S.I.B., Health and Safety Professionals, C.S.A and Union Leaders all recognize that psychosocial hazards are real, and that they can be controlled just as much as physical hazards.

Holy Cow!

Managers!! Get out of the office

One of the best things that managers can do is get out of the office and get some face time going with the workers on the front line.  Get out and interact with them. Not in an event way like “ride the big bike” for charity event once a year. I mean get out there as individuals and create friendships with the employees.  Too many times there is a distinct separation between management and hourly employees, which causes a distancing effect from your workforce that can undermine your corporate goals as a whole.

When a regular hourly employee knows your name and you give genuine recognition, then you have an employee who feels like you care about them and they will stop at nothing to do the best job they can to aid and assist in the success of the corporate goals.

Employee Wellness, Morale, and the Bottom Line



Keeping your employees happy is a key component to getting the most out of your bottom line.  With a business being ran by a bunch of unhappy campers who don’t want to be there, you can bet that your production rates will decrease as well.  Not every job is glamorous.  As a matter of fact, most jobs are the complete opposite.  However, that does not warrant the assumption that every day has to be a living hell.  Understanding the connection between employee wellness, morale, and the bottom line will help any frustrated supervisor transform their workforce.

Tracking Employee Wellness

Your employees are simply human beings who are trying to make a living.  They do not need or wish to be treated as slaves – machines that can take a beating without uttering a complaint.  Even machines break down; and your employees will as well if you don’t take some time…

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How to Keep Workers Happy [Infographic]


How to Keep Workers Happy [Infographic].